After waking up this morning to a hot girlfriend and some lovely cards and presents (including a sushi making course!!!)…I’m left standing on a train platform let down by good old South Eastern trains who really have gone the extra mile this year to royally cock up people’s days as much as possible! Anyway…as I’m left on a train that doesn’t go where I need to go having to make a couple of changes I thought I’d scroll down a quick update.

My blog was influenced by a good chap named Andrew Spurrier Dawes…a man who I enjoy having chats about life and all it has to throw at you with (and the odd but about work too!). He’s a man that inspires you to get your bottom out of bed and do something new as is always looking for something new to try. I am lucky enough to have a few of these people in my life and if you haven’t got one then find one pronto as they make for great chats!

So this year has got off to an interesting one…one where I have set myself the arduous task of shedding that Q4 timber…the timber that the good folk of the media world helped me pile on, followed by a week of me giving it beans eating and drinking as many pints of beer and sandwiches as physically possible (I actually did this one day until the beer wouldn’t go down my throat anymore).

I have decided that to shift this timber I’ve basically decided that I need to avoid sticking to one regime and make up my own, document it on Instagram and then write some kind of a pamphlet at the end of it and make millions! I failed at the first hurdle…I forgot to take the selfies of me looking like a polar bear after a solid feast on a few seals so will just have to reassure my audience who don’t know me that I’m a right chubby sh*t at the moment (the word obese would be appropriate, but sounds harsh)

Some timber being shifted…lols

So my regime, what does it include?

Eating/Drinking:

I’ve come up with the concept “Eat Like a King”…Henry the 8th to be specific! So it’s a combination of a few things that if they work I guarantee you will be the kick starter for many a million!

Truffles are definitely okay I’ve decided…especially now my local spar sell them! Also I make paleo banter on insta @themediabison

Rules are:

– Eat lots of protein (Try and have a nice variation of birds, fish and the odd red meat treat!)

– Avoid processed foods (You’ll note I’m fine with processed drinks)

– Easy on carbs (even the natural ones) and try and have these no later than lunch

– Enjoy a flipping drink…you probably deserve it…just avoid beer BIG time or anything beer like (lager, stouts, ales etc are a no go sorry)…I’ve been hitting the G&Ts (slimline tonic…I’m not an animal) and red wine at the weekends!

Homemade snacks and dips are a winner…

Training:

I truly believe in my concept of “just do something that moves your body and you enjoy”…and then…try and push yourself

Rules are:

– There are no rules

– Do some exercise…it’s good for you…even if it’s walking somewhere you’d usually get a 5-10 min bus

– If one of your mates at work suggests doing “Insanity” class at the gym…think twice about whether you’re ready for people to see you for majority of the class looking broken (totally broken…and sweating…a lot of sweating)

– Find something you enjoy doing and are likely to do again…and again…when you find this you’ve cracked it

– Do it with a friend (not sexy time…just get a buddy to join you in your quest to be the next Mr or Miss Universe)

Anyway…that’s basically it. Make the most of life…enjoy it and put in some better stuff into your body and don’t get carried everywhere (please note I have not and won’t be cancelling my uber account!)

Please remember I’m not expert just a rather tubby lad that’s lost weight with a very similar principle to this before. It feels a bit more sustainable…stops you quitting (I’m only a week in mind you and miss BEER…a lot).

The obvious thing and pure common sense suggests that if you want to shed weight super fast then definitely follow an experts advice and get yourself a mega personal  trainer or exercise plan with strict diet…this will definitely work! But if you fancy giving this a go before you commit to a life filled with measuring gains and sweating it out daily or counting sins and trying to work out whether it’s a red or green day then be my guest and tell me on Instagram @themediabison

Also I’ll post pics of some of the stuff I’m eating…tasty or not!

Happy New Year you sexy lot! Keep it real and do something different! Happy Birthday to me…I’ve just got in the office and been gifted not only a lovely birthday banner and bottle of fizzy stuff from the office but also A DOUBLE YOLKER in my brekkie!!!

Next job is the write a list of 100 things to have a punt at this year!

Here’s to the South of France this summer players!!!

Bonjour… I’m starting to realise that their were lots of things people tell you when you’re at school/college that were correct. I mean don’t get me wrong there was a lot of nonsense people told me in both school and college…and on the flip side I reckon I also spoke a fair amount of nonsense, but I’m getting away from my point. The one great thing about being at school and college is…it’s free (unless your parents had a few quid spare…but it’s still free for you!). What you don’t appreciate at that age is that all this info they give you…you have to pay handsomely for as an adult! One subject that I always enjoyed was the delights of French…and why I didn’t carry it on when leaving school I’ll never know…as now I have the pleasure of visiting on a semi regular basis this wonderful country where the wine flows like water, cheese and bread are a staple, and no ducks are safe, whilst the entire country stops operating at meal times, I wished I was better at the language! The occasional bonjour, ca va, or j’ai réservé une table…all the while praying that “parlez vous anglais” was going to cut it and give me the answer we all want…“Oui”…followed by a smiley face. Fat chance of that!

Anyway…I decided that if I’m going to be spending more and more time somewhere I should probably start to learn the lingo a little more…looked into night school (very punchy…but something for a New Years resolution I feel, as November and December are a bit mental to start something like this), I considered tapping up anyone I knows that speaks French to maybe go for a weekly brew with and see if I can steal some of their French from them.

Finally I settled with…my first ever Audio Book…I’ve not read a real book properly truth be told since James and the Giant Peach back in the day (great read if you haven’t read already)…so I was nervous about having someone read to me. After much balling around in the iTunes Store (for French audio books) I picked out this treat… Learn French with Paul Noble (Volume 1…I’m going back to basics)…and I must say Paul is what I would describe as a Wizard of the language world so far. I’m a couple of hours in and starting to pick it up again. I’ll report back as I complete volumes 1-4 and even throw in the odd phrase for free on here! If you’re learning along with me then let me know how you’re getting on! MJB (who still has no idea whether what I’m writing is what is intended for this kind of thing)

You can tell by the picture that Paul Noble is an utter #lad

For my years of culinary prowess I always felt my kitchen was missing something. I have mainly taken hand me downs from my family and only in later years invested in my own bits and bobs. I started with peelers, spoons, shakers, pestles, mortars, bowls, blenders, tools galore…you name it…I started to see that I needed it. My ultimate hand me down was a set of knives of my grandmas gave me that I’m pretty sure she got given as a hand me down. They will always be really special to me and are something that I will keep forever…but I always longed for a few knives that I didn’t have in my set that would have made my life so much easier when prepping so many meals.

I was lucky enough to be strolling through Selfridges with some vouchers kindly given to me by my father in law, and some I’d got from a work competition and saw them…

After circa 7 years of window shopping, trying them on several occasions, talking myself out of the fact that I didn’t NEED them, having my girlfriend ask exactly the same question, and generally WANTING…WANTING…and WANTING more and more the extra knives and also something that went through bone like butter (as brick top in snatch famously coined)…I did it…I bought a set of 5 Global Knives and a Global knife block…and guess what…they were on offer for £380 down from £780!!!

Little snap of the new knives…

And if you haven’t bought yours and were even remotely debating it as you had a few quid spare to invest in your kitchen…you will NOT be disappointed! I’ve started bringing back my love for prepping. They are so sharp I can’t even comprehend how careful I was at first but these really are a different gravy when it comes to knives. The bread knife blows me away! It can slice a french stick so thinly you can practically make crisps out of the bread! The utility knife is just perfect for nipping through some quick salad veg or slicing up some quick veg! It has taken me back to buying veg how they are meant to be bought and steering away from the pre done stuff! Sure that the novelty will go away but still!

Too easy…chop like a dream…watch the fingers!

Anyway…Global Knives…they are that good, and they are definitely worth the investment…if you can…get them…if you can’t just yet but love cooking…start saving and you wont be disappointed! I know what I’ll be asking for this Christmas…the sharpening steel!