My Favourite Weekend in Feb…a Downton affair

Here goes…to my favourite weekend in the whole of Feb (sorry to the people that I spent the other weekends with…they were also incredible but this one stands out!)…So my Aunty Shazza, who is a good sort…a top lady…and loads of fun was celebrating a special birthday (I won’t say which one) and decided like you do to hire Downton F*cking Abbey…well it wasn’t actually Downton’s Highclere Castle…but it was a massive blinking house in Dorset!

I’ll be honest with you…I didn’t read the pre posted itinerary (I never do) that she had been lovely enough to have printed and posted to everyone. It’s a mistake I make with weddings and other events (I once missed my friends wedding by not reading this vital bit of paper)…anyway…I just paid up a couple of quid when asked if I’d like to shoot and go for a roast away from the house on the Sunday. In my head the house was going to be modest, we were all getting some posh frocks on the Saturday night for a couple of gins and then having a roast before coming home on the Sunday.

When we rocked up late on the Friday night after a busy days graft I was ready for a drink…and my sat nav had me pull up at a house that made me feel like I had already been drinking…had I some how ended up at Downton Abbey on a Friday night for a few jars.

I walked through the grand double doors, into the hall reception with classical strings playing, to be greeted by my Uncle Steve serving up Power Margaritas and had one forced into my hand before I’d even had chance to even get my coat off (won’t feel the benefit)! I HAD ARRIVED! It then took me 30 mins to check out about half of the house whilst continually having fresh margaritas popped in my hand. A few hellos later to family and friends I was well and truly in the zone and talking bollocks already in what felt like minutes. The margaritas were kicking in. Then…at 11pm I was feeling pretty peckish to be fair having not eaten…miraculously some waiters (who knew you could hire them in?) who came out of nowhere came around and asked that everyone go to the dining room for supper…we were then fed a cheeky 3 courses and many wines were passed around and I don’t actually remember much more of the meal but I do remember it was tasty. Apparently afterwards we went into the house’s very own on site “club” room (yes it had flashing neon lights…aka essential!) and danced to some motown and northern soul until I woke up on someones ensuite bathroom floor at about 4am to be turfed to bed! Strong start I thought!

Woke up relatively hangover free at noon…and was told to get myself together as a day of shooting was ahead! Lovely! Cleaned up…obviously! Returned back to the house to be greeted once again with a large drink by my Uncle just before the England Ireland game where I proceeded to start the proceedings! After Big Billy V finally finished running through every Irish man on the pitch, England won much to 95% of peoples happiness but a lone Irishman looked less than impressed…for all of 2 mins until he was handed a large gin and we all were ushered to our rooms to get our posh tackle on for the evening!

I threw on a little black number and accompanied by my lovely lady who also threw on a little black number (and looked like a mega babe!) to the champagne evening reception. My mum…who was also at the birthday weekend also happened to look like a film star…I can see where I get my devilish looks from!

Anyway the main event was now in full flow in the house’s dedicated champagne lounge…many many champagnes and canapés later (I am aware I sound like a tit)…we were summoned to another…yes another dining room for supper…

Nice English sparkling vino

After the starter, one of my good friends and partners in crime (my cousins boyfriend) decided to pop to the little boys room (so he told us)  after consuming 5 pre dinner litres of fizzy wine this was perfectly feasible…a cool 20 mins later and not far off the main being served we were a little concerned…had he caught his tail in the seat? Had he been been caught short? Oh no…My cousin just popped to go and check on him to find him wait for it…having a classic tactical mid dinner nap in bed. Startled by her wake up call he joined us back at the table fully refreshed and ready for the main event.

We tucked into some delish food which I’d totally forgotten we’d pre ordered and clever lovely Aunty Shaz had got a chef in to rustle up this feast for us all. Then once we’d polished off the main two random young smartly dressed chaps walked into the room…and pulled a microphone out of his pocket and started ripping out Nessun Dorma…I kid you not Il Divo could have been singing in the room with us…every lady in the room was sobbing but next up…his mate dove tailed it with Mark Ransoms Uptown Funk…these lads knew how to please a crowd (they were no Il Divo…they were better…they were like Il Divo on acid)…we were up, dancing, and singing with them!

Fortunately this magnificent dining room was nicely close to the “club” room and some smart cookie (couldn’t tell you who as I couldn’t see by this point) took to the wheels of steel and popped some Abba on to get everyone moving! Perfect choice! Next thing I knew my mum was performing air guitar, my uncle was singing, my aunty was spinning…my girlfriend…was asleep somewhere…the party had fully started. I don’t remember much after this again apart from having a conversation with one of my auntys friends about a Fender Stratocaster…I don’t know a bean about guitars…but reckon I styled it out…

I woke up once again on someones floor and was turfed out! I woke on the Sunday to an actual hangover but I was driving later that day so spent my day relaxing, unwinding, hearing stories from the night before and generally working out how I was ever going to cope in my little flat and not being in a house with it’s own “club” room, champagne room, hot tub, and driveway longer than my road…I got over this by going for a massive roast and watching everyone else get drunk before I drove us home! What a weekend…incredible times!

Thanks Aunty Shaz for an incredible way to mark a birthday!